Some Quick Thoughts
For most of my life I have been restless. It has been the basis of my succes as an adult, that I was so driven to get better or get recognition or whatever, that I kept comingup with new challanges and new ways to improve myself. But this summer I finally slowed down for the first time in a long time. And it feels good. For the first time ideas to to me without having to look for them. Having just finished the third season of S1ngle and having to redefine who I am and what I am doing professionally (even though I may always end up changing nothing) this llness couldn't have come at a better time. I am even experiencing a LSD like sense of what it is that makes the universe tick. That feeling may be some sort of post-operative euphoria, but I know it is a feeling that I will not want to lose in the next few years and that more than anything I can think of will help me make my choices.
Still, I can feel it creeping back. With every new idea that pops into my head and want to type it out or phone someone to tell it. But I won't, because living in the happy now I am still experiencing is far better than projecting everything into the future and turning it into an obligation. Certainly this weekend my life is on hold. Although I feel (and can point out realisticly) that I have been getting much much better over the last week (only a week ago I had no balance, now I can do much more than I should or will), I still have to get confirmation that the tumor was indeed benign tomorrow afternoon (about in the morning in US time).
All that is to explain why I am putting up a post again. Not because I am totally declared better or that I am desperate... but I can't just do nothing.